When Our Behaviors Match our Words We're Showing Up with Integrity
The only real truth comes from our senses - usually what we see and hear. Then, if someone tells us about what they're feeling/thinking and these words are also reflected in their behaviors and actions we have a sense of security; a match between actions and words; a place of full trust since there's no discrepancy that we need to figure out. But ...
When Our Behaviors and Words are Different - The Behaviors are the Truth!
Your Next Best Steps
- If you find that someone's behaviors and words aren't in synch, it's time to drop down into a conversation about what you're observing. For example, "I hear you telling me that you're not angry with me, yet I see that you're holding your arms tightly around your chest, your voice is loud, and you're turned away from me. What's really going on?" Hopefully this will transition into a deep and meaningful conversation.
- If you're trying to rebuild trust with someone, this is only done through consistent behaviors over a period of time. There is no amount of verbal reassurance (remember, words are intentions only) that can bridge this gap.
- When friends and family show up with integrity, remember to appreciate this gift of predictability and consistency that they extend to you. This gives you a sense of safety and connectivity to rely on.
Photo - Creative Commons (Gabz "It Happens")