An "Open System" or a "Closed System" ...
This 25% other-than-relationship time allows each partner to spend time with his/her unique friends or extended family, on hobbies or sports, or whatever is of personal interest. Then the remnants of these external adventures get folded back into the intimate relationship – adding a new layer of interest and intrigue.
Your Next Best Steps
- Sit down with your significant other and have a conversation about how and when you each need/want to spend time independent of the relationship.
- As you go along in time, be sure to discuss times that will be spent elsewhere – this goes over better when it’s done is advance, usually a week or several days ahead of actual events.
- If you need time together as a couple, try to allow individual time AND couple time, rather than forfeiting individual time (OR) for couple time. Be sure you’re aware of your intentions/motives whenever you ask your partner to change individual plans.
Photo - Creative Commons (Keith Bolland)