Here Comes the Judge ...
Whenever we judge others, or compare ourselves to others, we create a sink hole of negative feelings.
If we judge others to be “worse” than us, we experience a false bravado, an inflated ego. If we judge others to be “better” than us, we slither down into a sense of unworthiness and not-enough. Never-the-less, it’s hard to stop this mental phenomena, since our brain functions have remained the same since the days of survival of the fittest (when folks actually had to worry about eat-or-be-eaten). So even though this may no longer serve a purpose, it works best to go-with-the-flow rather than admonishing ourselves for our thoughts.
Worse - Better - Same
- In what ways is the other person worse than you? Then, allow your ego to enjoy its brief encounter with superiority and righteousness.
- In what ways is the other person better than you? Then, allow your felt sense to experience a period of humble pie and vulnerability.
- Finally, in what ways are you and the other person the same? After the teeter-totter of better/worse, you’re now on even ground. From this level-moment, you are at a place to connect deeply with another person from a place of heart.
In addition to this 3-step “up-down-all around” exercise, it helps me to remember that we’re all just one step away from stupid. And, that we can easily be on the receiving end of someone else’s judgment, where we’d all like to be given the benefit of the doubt – to be seen and known for our full mosaic of bad-good-same.
Photo - Creative Commons (Chris Potter)