What lenses ("+" or "-") Do You have On?
How much does the positive need to outweigh the negative? According to Frederickson, 3:1 is the minimum, 5:1 is optimum, and at 11:1 it’s overkill!
Your Next Best Steps
- Be sure you take time to see what’s going right in your relationship. Negative events loom larger than positive events; and, negative thoughts stick like Velcro whereas positive thoughts slide off like Teflon. You need to consciously focus on positive events to level out this negativity bias.
- Our negative thoughts keep us stuck in the past; and, often factor into depressive symptoms. When we focus on past negative behaviors, we start believing that the behaviors of another person can’t change. Then, going forward we wear blinders to keep positive behaviors outside of our view. Challenge yourself to find at least three positives for every negative.
- Never take small acts of kindness or helping out for granted – even when they repeat on a daily basis. Although others should inherently know when they’ve done a good job, it’s always nice to hear those words from a boss, friend, or significant other.
Photo - Creative Commons (ntr23 “Moreless Plus Minus Button”)